I am Tom Kólá, a trans & queer rights advocate, educator, public speaker, content creator, organizer & founder. Executive Director, Trans Nigerian Support
I’ve always known who I am. In regards to my gender, I knew who I was as early as the age of 4 despite being born into an unsupportive family & society. I wouldn’t learn that there was a term to describe “my gender as a boy presumed to be a girl” until my teenage years, but from the age of 4 until 2018, my [gender] identity as trans was one that saw me experience years of inner turmoil, oscillating between self-acceptance & religion-backed denial, until i found the courage in a friend, supportive community & myself to accept that I’m who i’m. I’m him lol
Despite always having known who I am, I have had to hold myself & my truth in tandem with the lies society feeds all queer people; that we do not exist & should not exist, all my life. I was fortunate to have the support & clarity of someone else who could see me more clearly than I could see myself in that moment & it saved me. People have been instrumental to my sense of wholeness for as long as I can remember & it has fostered in me an unending appreciation for community & collaboration that guides me to this day. I’m who I am not by my strength alone, but thanks to people who see me as clearly as I see myself even on days when I do not see myself. It is by their strength & faith in me that I’m all of who I am today with more of who I am to come.
