The party was going well. Most people were having a nice time and we had just finished another round of games. We took a break for people to interact or dance before reconvening for more games. I had to use the restroom. The first two restrooms I tried to use were occupied. Typical of a house party. I decided to use the restroom in the master bedroom.
I finished going and was smoothing out my clothes when I noticed something that looked out of place behind the shower curtain. I pushed the curtain aside and found a girl sat in the bathtub. Her makeup was ruined from apparent tears and she looked miserable. I sensed that she needed a shoulder to cry on and a reassuring voice to comfort her. I decided not to leave her there alone.
With music playing softly from the speakers installed in the ceiling, I sat on the edge of the bathtub, held her hand and said:
“If you want to let it all out, I’m here for you.”
Staring into the empty space in front of her, she said in between sobs “My girlfriend…” but trailed off as she covered her face with her palms and heaved into them, her body shaking from the intensity of her sobs.
I sat with her quietly for a minute wondering what to do. And then, without planning to, I heard myself say,
“You don’t have to say anything you are not ready to say. Some things are better left unsaid even though they hurt you inside. I know how you feel. I’ve been there before. When things don’t work out with the one person you can be your true self with, so you are forced to live your truth in the shadows. You’re unable to even share the hurt and confusion with anyone.”
This would have been a good place for me to stop talking but for some reason I kept unloading my feelings, coming out of the closet to a stranger, with tears running down my face.
I got up to wash my face in the sink and looked in the mirror. I was alone in the restroom. I didn’t come out to a stranger, I came out to myself. I decided that I’d had enough to drink at the party, and headed home.
About the Writer
Name: Dee Henshaw